You are.
In the book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, (spoilers!) right before Harry, Ron and Hermione get their OWL results, Harry confesses to them that he knows the contents of the prophecy and that it can only end with either him killing Voldemort or him getting killed by him. Up until then, Harry had refrained from sharing that information with his friends, because he had been worried they might not want to be his friends any longer once they knew he was ‘marked for death’.
While the pain of being unwanted and shunned was something I could comprehend, that reason sounded strange and alien in my head – because the first thing I could think of was, “Whoa! You get to be all bad-ass and fight the Dark side – that too with magic! I’d be there in the thick of it if I could!” But, further down in the story, there comes a time when the world outside is really being torn apart by Death Eaters and werewolves, and Harry angrily thinks to himself how it all comes down to Voldemort – how Voldemort is tearing apart people’s lives and families, and for the first time in my life, I think I understood how difficult it might be to live in a war-torn nation – to constantly live with a fear for your life.`
What is worse, I believe, is that even where things are going well, there’s always a lurking fear of something. The media, as Brené Brown says, is constantly showing us what we should be afraid of and whose fault it is. We believe we are never safe enough. She calls it the ‘culture of scarcity’.
One such demon in today’s world we are all taught not just to be afraid of, but to hate and look down upon, is obesity. However, the jury seems to be out on whose fault it is. Nevertheless, obese people are treated with a viciousness that ‘normal’ people can only imagine about. There is no question about the extent of influence the media, the film industry, the health industry, and the pharmaceuticals enjoy when it comes to deciding what femininity and masculinity look like and what is considered the ‘ideal body’. People are constantly told that they are not thin enough or not healthy enough. The whole notion around beauty and relationships gets further complicated because of what we’ve been taught is ‘desirable’. There is also no doubt as to how damaging these expectations are for everyone.
You ever have that experience when you go to a hair or a beauty salon for a service and noticed how they always tell you your skin and hair are ultra damaged? I have. Every time. You know the worst part? I used to agree with them. And then they’d pitch a multitude of expensive treatments, spas, creams, conditioners… you get the drift. You really want to help your skin and hair? Chuck the advice, embrace the basics. We all already know what needs to be done. Sure, it’s the “doing it” that gets waylaid. But that’s an “inward” problem that needs an “inward” solution.
The range of what is considered ‘ideal’ and, in turn, ‘beautiful’ is very narrow, not to mention how disturbing the very idea is, that a person’s worthiness and identity are inextricably tied to their masculinity, their femininity, and their bodies.
Our identities are more than what we look like, how we dress, the languages or accents we speak in, our relationship status, or the money we make.
Worthiness is inherent.
